It's good to see that a$$holes still exist. I was beginning to think they were all taken and I was just going to have to one day settle for some nice guy. But Bentley, you have restored my faith in a$$holes. Good to see they are alive, well, and getting roses on "The Bachelorette."
Before we get to Bentley, we have to muddle through dates with nice guys like William and Mickey. William gets the season's first one-on-one date and Ashley flies him to the fabulous Las Vegas for their first date. As they board the private plane I'm sure William is envisioning a day at the craps table, maybe taking in a show - Cirque du Soleil, perhaps - then eating some crablegs at a buffett and at some point probably taking a dip in a hot tub, it is "The Bachelorette" afterall. So, I hope William was unpleasantly surprised when the Vegas date turned out to be his wedding to the Bachelorette. The date started off with a wedding cake tasting, followed by ring shopping, and capped off with a walk down the aisle in a hotel chapel. And I think going the movies is intense for a first date. Clearly my date activity choices are far too non-commital and sane to ever be a Bachelorette. Thankfully for William, the wedding was fake, unthankfully for Ashley, she didn't get to keep the two carat diamond she picked out...
After the fake wedding Ashley surprises William with a romantic dinner in the middle of the Bellagio fountian. Over dinner William tells Ashley about the death of his alcoholic father. Having an alcoholic father of her own, Ashley becomes emotional and the two bond over this experience. William tells her this is the best first date he's ever been on and just as the fountian starts up, Ashley offers him the date rose and the first kiss of the season.
Back in LA the first date card of the season arrives for 12 lucky bachelors. The group daters join Ashley in Vegas for a performance by America's Best Dance Crew, The Jabbowakeez. For this date the bachelors were divided into two dance crews and choreographed a routine. The members of the winning crew performed later that night in the Jabbowakeez show and the losing crew flew back to the Bachelor Cave in LA. The first crew, appropiatley named Best Men, to compete did a routine that acted out a wedding ceremony. The second crew, No Rhythm Nation, made their rountine to look like a rose ceremony. Incidently the crew that had Bentley, No Rhythm Nation, won the dance battle and performed with Ashley and The Jabbowakeez.
After the show Ahley and the boys after partied by pool. The first guy to get some alone time with Ashley was Blake, the dentist. Ashley tells Blake that she sees a lot of the same qualities in him that she sees in herself; hard worker, dedicated, perfectionist. Feeling confident that he's a rose-in, Blake is ok to turn Ashley over to Bentley for his alone time. Despite the warnings from a friend that knows Bentley, Ashley is obliviously smitten with Bentley. As the two curl up on the couch by the fire, Ashley asks if there is anything that would make him decide to go home. Bentley tells her that his young daughter would be the only reason he would ever leave the show early. Upon hearing that, Ashley tells him to please stay if he feels anything for her. As Ashley is hearing this, we, the audience, is hearing Bentley tell a prodcuer, "She's got a rockin' butt. Competing is the extent of my interest. She isn't my type." And that he would "rather swim in pee than plan a wedding with her." If I close my eyes, I can almost picture Carey Grant saying these things. And because even a$$holes deserve a chance to finish first, Bentley was offered the evening's date rose.
Meanwhile, back at the Bachelor Cave, another date card arrives. This one is addressed to Mickey and JP. The card instructs to the guys to flip a coin to decide which one will join Ashley in Vegas for the next one-on-one date. Mickey wins the coin toss and meets up with Ashley at Mandalay Bay. They decide to keep the coin toss trend going throughout the date. Mickey is cool to go along with the idea until it comes time for Ashley to give out the date rose. Luck was a rose that night, because Mickey called heads and that's what it landed on!
Tensions were high the next night before the rose ceremony. William, Bentley, and Mickey were all safe. JP, Ben C., and Zorro were the only ones that didn't make it on an one-on-one or a group date. JP was the first to steal Ashley for alone time and he flips a coin for a kiss, and gets it. Ashley tells him to she thinks tey will have a lot of fun togeter later on and not to worry about anything. Ashley also spends some time talking to Zorro, who has yet to reveal his face. Zorro tells Ashley that his life was turned upside down when he suffered a brain hemorrhage a few years ago. Since then he's realized how short life can be and doesn't want to waste it being superficial. He tells Ashley that he's ready to expose himself and just has he's about the take off his mask, Matt interupts...
Ashley also spends alone time with William which ticks all the other guys off becuse he's already accepted a rose. And she spends time with Bentley who suggests they quit talking ang just kiss by the fire.While Ashley was hearing that, we the audience, is hearing Bentley tell a producer,"That kiss was just boring. There's no way I'm gonna last two months." Is that Shakespeare he's reciting?
At the rose ceremony Ashley keeps Blake the dentist, West, Constantine (Josh Groban look-a-like #1), Ben C. (Josh Groban look-a-like #2), Ryan P,. Ben C., Nick, Ivey League Ames, Lucas, Nick, JP, Chris and...Zorro. Matt from Boston said it best on his way to the reject limo, "I was an open book and wasn't wearing a mask. I lost to a guy in a mask." Matt, don't foget to add "on national television." You lost to a guy in mask on national television.
Tune in next week where we'll get to see more of Bentley perfecting the lost art of being an a$$hole.
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