Week three opens with a friendly greeting courtsey of Michelle that went a little something like this: "Brad needs to be with a woman like me. Not these other girls. I'm not gonna lie; I hate them." I hope you other girls keep a close eye on who's pouring the wine spritzers if you catch my drift. Michelle definitely has a "I'd poison your drink with antifreeze" look about her. And Michelle's hatred is further fueled when the next one-on-one date card arrives and it's addressed to Ashley S.
Brad takes Ashley S. to Capitol Records to record a duet of none other than Seal's "Kiss From a Rose." A native North Carolinian, Ashley tells us, "My accent might be kind of charming, but my singing voice is terrible." Well Ashley, you may be from Dixie and you're a chick, but you certainly are no Dixie Chick. No one will ever accuse her of being on "The Bachelor" in hopes of furthering her singing career. After a wretched recording that makes "Real Housewife" Kim Zolciak sound on pitch, Brad and Ashley decide they're better off lip-syncing and are treated to a private performance by Seal. Afterwards the pair retreat to the Capitol Records rooftop for some champagne and chit-chat. Ashley opens up to Brad about her the untimely death of her father who died suddenly of a brain hemorrhage. She also tells Brad that this date was especially meaningful because "Kiss From a Rose" was her father's favorite song. Appreciative that Ashley is opening up to him, Brad tells her what a perfect first date they had and the two go from a "Kiss From a Rose" to a rose for a kiss. And Ashley, who already feels herself falling for Brad, accepts the date rose...and the kiss!
Back at the mansion Michelle isn't taking it well that she's about to be subjected to yet another group date and tells us, "What really hurts is being on a group date. I hate group dates." Michelle, it's "The Bachelor," no group date is ever that bad and they almost always end with the Bachelor half naked in a hottub. I've yet to see a group date that's involved a Cici's Pizza Buffet followed by a root canal. And until that's the case, quit yo bitchin'!
The dreaded group date, as it turns out, is a trip to a movie set to shoot an action flick. A group of professional stunt doubles work with the girls on how to throw fake punches and choreograph fight scenes. Though he thought all the girls were kicking butt this date, Brad seemed to have his eye on Shawntel and she was chosen to be in the movie's closing scene which of course invloved a car explosion and lots of kissing. Jealous, Michelle tells us that she wishes Shawntel would be kidnapped and dumped in the desert. Nevada PD, if you're reading this, maybe you should do a missing person's report and let out the cadaver dogs. Stat.
After the shoot, Brad takes his harem poolside for a wrap party where he wastes no time popping open the bubbly and the girls waste no time breaking out the bikinis. Chantal is the first to get some alone time with Brad and how does she spend it? Crying and talking about her divorce. If there are two things that are bachelor buzzkill it's crying and the word "divorce." Because he does seem to be a nice guy, Brad cuddles and comforts Chantal, but when she says, "I Iike you," he replies, "You too." Yes, the 'ol "You too." Unless you're casually telling someone to have a nice day, "You too" is never a promising response.
Next up for some hottub time is Alli. But, just as she and Brad were starting to talk about failed past relationships, in saunters Michelle who successfully steals Brad away. Though aware of Michelle's theivery ways, Brad tells us that "she could steal him away any night of the week." Shoot! She may be more of a frontrunner than I've been suspecting. But, he gives Shawntel the date rose and acts genuinely nervous while doing so. The date ends with everyone in the hottub watching their action movie appropiately titled "Love Hurts."
Emily from North Carolina is next on deck for a one-on-one date. Brad picks Emily up in his silver convertible and takes her to an airplane hangar where they board a private plane and fly to a vineyard in Santa Maria, CA. Over glasses of chardonnay, Brad tries to get Emily to open up, but she seems hesistant and resistant. Deflecting all his questions, Brad doesn't quite know how to read her. After a vineyard tour, he leads her into a barn for a romantic candlelit dinner. And over more glasses of chardonnay, Emily shares with Brad the "darkest period of her life," the death of her fiance. Emily was just 18 when her finance died in a plane crash en route to a car race. Days after his death, she found out she was pregnant with his daugher. Though a bit stunned by the seriousness of her story, Brad seems genuinely sorry for Emily's lost and even more interested in hearing about her five year old daughter. He tells Emily, "I like you a lot. I mean a lot." And then offers her the date rose.
The next night is rose ceremony and Brad seems to be having his best time yet at a cocktail party. He first meets with Alli where he hears about her trust issues that stem from her father's indefilty. He eases her mind by saying that he's never cheated on a girlfriend and agrees that trust is a huge factor in relationships and they kiss. He's then stolen away by Michelle who tells him how jealous she is that he's kissing other girls, so to ease her mind, he kisses her. Next he's off to find Chantal to apologize for not opening to her the other night in the hottub the way she opened up with him. And they kiss. Three kisses and it wasn't even fantasy date week - I'd say this was his best cocktail party yet!
But the tides begin to turn when he sits down to chat with Madison. We knew things were going to get serious when she took out her fangs. Madison tells Brad that she came on the show with walls up and feels like a lot of the girls really have their hearts on the line and she's thinking about leaving. A little put off, Brad encourages her not to accept a rose if she really doesn't want to be here. Well, as it turns, Madison didn't. Before Brad gave out his second rose of the ceremony, Madison walks off. Brad excuses himself and tries to figure out what's going on in that vampire head of hers. She tells him, "I wouldn't feel right if I stayed and another girl went home." Admiring her reason, Brad wishes her luck and the two part on amicable terms. Madison was more of a Team Edward kind of girl anyway.
So, Michelle, Chantal, Shawntel, Lisa, Jackie, Ashley H, Ashley S, Britt, Alli, Lindsey, Megan, Stacy and my pick Marissa all return next week. And speaking of next week - Michelle wakes up with a black eye! Monday, you can't get here fast enough!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Week 2 - "Did you get the memo? It's my birthday."
Week two was a night of firsts for our second time around bachelor. Brad had his first one-on-one date, first group date, and Michelle celebrated her first 30th birthday. Something tells me she's one of those that plans on turning 30 for the next five years...
Last night's episode started out in the mansion where all the girls were sitting around in their Victoria's Secret sweat pants and side ponies awaiting the arrival of the season's first date card. Melissa, the waitress from Florida, tells us she's wanted to be a contestant on "The Bachelor" for eight years and, despite having to quit her job, spent a fortune on dresses and gowns for the show. So you can imagine her disappointment when the date card is opened and it's Ashley H.'s name printed on the front.
Later that evening Ashley H., the perky little dentist from Philadelphia, meets Bachelor Brad at the bottom of the mansion staircase wearing a dress reminiscent of the lacy swan Bjork wrapped herself in for the 2001 Oscars. Brad must have had on his bachelor goggles as he tells the oral hygiene hottie how beautiful she looks. After bidding adieu to her fellow bachelorettes, Brad drives Ashley down a dark and windy wooded trail. Just when she thinks this is about to turn into an episode of "48 Hours Mystery," they stumble upon a giant voltage switch. Brad lets Ashley do the honors and when the switch is flipped, a carnival lights up complete with a tilt-a-whirl and ferris wheel. Running around like 15 year olds that have just been ungrounded, the two play ring toss, eat cotton candy, and make-out in the photo booth. Brad tells us, "I've met a girl right off the bat that I can just be myself with." They bond over the fact that both of them grew up with absentee fathers and feel the need for stability in their lives. Brad says to Ashley that she makes it easy for him to open up and talk, thus he presents her with the season's first date rose. Ashley readily accepts and then the two take their make-out session to the ferris wheel. Which reminds me, "Fear" was just added to Netflix Instant Play.
The next day is a big one at the mansion - it's Michelle's birthday! But it's not just Michelle's birthday, it's her 30th birthday. Not her 29th or 31st, as she tells us, but her 30th! And on the big 3-0 the producers of ABC's "The Bachelor" surprise her with a date with Brad and 15 other girls! Turning 30 is the best! After hearing her name on the group date's roster, Michelle tells us, "People are going to piss me off today. I just know it." I love it when birthday girls are on "The Bachelor."
For the season's first group date, Brad takes the girls to a studio where they'll shoot PSAs promoting blood donation for the American Red Cross. OMG - this is obviously the perfect group date for Madison! Madison, as you recall, is the girl with fangs. But what would've been Fangs' big moment is overshadowed by birthday girl Michelle. After watching Brad willingly participate in kissing scenes with several of the girls, Michelle has had enough and tell us, "this isn't how I pictured celebrating my 30th birthday," and runs off in a huff. Bachelor Brad finds her pouting backstage and after a strained pep talk, gets her to rejoin the date.
After the PSA shoot, Brad takes the ladies to a rooftop wrap party at the swanky Roosevelt Hotel. After toasting to a drama-free evening, Brad whisks Melissa away for some alone time. Melissa, as you recall, is the one who told us earlier this episode that its basically been her dream to be on "The Bachelor" and sold all her possessions to make it come true. So, we knew she wasn't going to come off as desperate when she finally had alone time with our bachelor. The first thing Melissa tells Brad is how spontaneous she is. In bachelorettese, "spontaneous" actually means "Short of a three-way, I'll do anything to get your attention." In past seasons "spontaneous" has meant skinny-dipping, running into the ocean fully clothed, and secret late night visits to the bachelor's sleeping quarters. We all know this isn't Brad's first rodeo, so he's on to Michelle's spontaneous talk and cuts their alone time short.
Next up for alone time is the birthday girl, who by now is hammered. Slurry-tongued and glossy-eyed, Michelle tells Brad that he has walls up and she wants to "peel off all the layers." Michelle, you're drunk, you're 30, you're on "The Bachelor." The only thing you want to peel off are Brad's clothes...amiright! And probably because Michelle was drunk and 30, she was offered the evening's date rose.
Back at Girl Scout camp, the final date card of the episode is delivered for Jackie, the artist from New York. Brad picks his date up in a shiny silver convertible and takes her to a hotel for a couple's spa treatment. After an afternoon of facial masks and mud baths, Brad surprises Jackie with a romantic dinner on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. During dinner we learn that Jackie has only had two serious boyfriends which worries the bachelor that this situation may be too risky for her. Jackie assures Brad that she wants to be here as long as he does, and with that she's offered the date rose. After accepting, the couple is rewarded with a private concert from Train. Hey soul sister!
Two one-on-ones and a group date later it's finally rose ceremony time! Before Brad hands out his roses, Chris Harrison surprises everyone with two special members of "The Bachelor" family; Ali and Sexy Roberto! As a former bachelorette, Ali is highly qualified to help Brad weed out some of the girls that may be there for the ever-popular wrong reason. Ali and Roberto sit down with each and of the girls for a quick interview and unanimously decide that Emily from North Carolina should be awarded the extra rose of the evening.
So, among those returning next week are our date rose recipients Ashley H., Birthday Girl Melissa, Jackie, and Emily. Also making the cut are once again both Shawntel and Chantal, Fangs, and my pick, Marissa! Tune in next week to see Brad's reaction to Emily's dark past and see who decides to head home before the rose ceremony.
Last night's episode started out in the mansion where all the girls were sitting around in their Victoria's Secret sweat pants and side ponies awaiting the arrival of the season's first date card. Melissa, the waitress from Florida, tells us she's wanted to be a contestant on "The Bachelor" for eight years and, despite having to quit her job, spent a fortune on dresses and gowns for the show. So you can imagine her disappointment when the date card is opened and it's Ashley H.'s name printed on the front.
Later that evening Ashley H., the perky little dentist from Philadelphia, meets Bachelor Brad at the bottom of the mansion staircase wearing a dress reminiscent of the lacy swan Bjork wrapped herself in for the 2001 Oscars. Brad must have had on his bachelor goggles as he tells the oral hygiene hottie how beautiful she looks. After bidding adieu to her fellow bachelorettes, Brad drives Ashley down a dark and windy wooded trail. Just when she thinks this is about to turn into an episode of "48 Hours Mystery," they stumble upon a giant voltage switch. Brad lets Ashley do the honors and when the switch is flipped, a carnival lights up complete with a tilt-a-whirl and ferris wheel. Running around like 15 year olds that have just been ungrounded, the two play ring toss, eat cotton candy, and make-out in the photo booth. Brad tells us, "I've met a girl right off the bat that I can just be myself with." They bond over the fact that both of them grew up with absentee fathers and feel the need for stability in their lives. Brad says to Ashley that she makes it easy for him to open up and talk, thus he presents her with the season's first date rose. Ashley readily accepts and then the two take their make-out session to the ferris wheel. Which reminds me, "Fear" was just added to Netflix Instant Play.
The next day is a big one at the mansion - it's Michelle's birthday! But it's not just Michelle's birthday, it's her 30th birthday. Not her 29th or 31st, as she tells us, but her 30th! And on the big 3-0 the producers of ABC's "The Bachelor" surprise her with a date with Brad and 15 other girls! Turning 30 is the best! After hearing her name on the group date's roster, Michelle tells us, "People are going to piss me off today. I just know it." I love it when birthday girls are on "The Bachelor."
For the season's first group date, Brad takes the girls to a studio where they'll shoot PSAs promoting blood donation for the American Red Cross. OMG - this is obviously the perfect group date for Madison! Madison, as you recall, is the girl with fangs. But what would've been Fangs' big moment is overshadowed by birthday girl Michelle. After watching Brad willingly participate in kissing scenes with several of the girls, Michelle has had enough and tell us, "this isn't how I pictured celebrating my 30th birthday," and runs off in a huff. Bachelor Brad finds her pouting backstage and after a strained pep talk, gets her to rejoin the date.
After the PSA shoot, Brad takes the ladies to a rooftop wrap party at the swanky Roosevelt Hotel. After toasting to a drama-free evening, Brad whisks Melissa away for some alone time. Melissa, as you recall, is the one who told us earlier this episode that its basically been her dream to be on "The Bachelor" and sold all her possessions to make it come true. So, we knew she wasn't going to come off as desperate when she finally had alone time with our bachelor. The first thing Melissa tells Brad is how spontaneous she is. In bachelorettese, "spontaneous" actually means "Short of a three-way, I'll do anything to get your attention." In past seasons "spontaneous" has meant skinny-dipping, running into the ocean fully clothed, and secret late night visits to the bachelor's sleeping quarters. We all know this isn't Brad's first rodeo, so he's on to Michelle's spontaneous talk and cuts their alone time short.
Next up for alone time is the birthday girl, who by now is hammered. Slurry-tongued and glossy-eyed, Michelle tells Brad that he has walls up and she wants to "peel off all the layers." Michelle, you're drunk, you're 30, you're on "The Bachelor." The only thing you want to peel off are Brad's clothes...amiright! And probably because Michelle was drunk and 30, she was offered the evening's date rose.
Back at Girl Scout camp, the final date card of the episode is delivered for Jackie, the artist from New York. Brad picks his date up in a shiny silver convertible and takes her to a hotel for a couple's spa treatment. After an afternoon of facial masks and mud baths, Brad surprises Jackie with a romantic dinner on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. During dinner we learn that Jackie has only had two serious boyfriends which worries the bachelor that this situation may be too risky for her. Jackie assures Brad that she wants to be here as long as he does, and with that she's offered the date rose. After accepting, the couple is rewarded with a private concert from Train. Hey soul sister!
Two one-on-ones and a group date later it's finally rose ceremony time! Before Brad hands out his roses, Chris Harrison surprises everyone with two special members of "The Bachelor" family; Ali and Sexy Roberto! As a former bachelorette, Ali is highly qualified to help Brad weed out some of the girls that may be there for the ever-popular wrong reason. Ali and Roberto sit down with each and of the girls for a quick interview and unanimously decide that Emily from North Carolina should be awarded the extra rose of the evening.
So, among those returning next week are our date rose recipients Ashley H., Birthday Girl Melissa, Jackie, and Emily. Also making the cut are once again both Shawntel and Chantal, Fangs, and my pick, Marissa! Tune in next week to see Brad's reaction to Emily's dark past and see who decides to head home before the rose ceremony.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The Bachelor - Week 1 "Don't screw this up!"
Welcome Bachelor fans to what Chris Harrison is already calling “the most shocking season in Bachelor history.” And with a mortician, a girl with fangs, and a few single moms thrown in the mix, it may actually earn the moniker. This season brings us a handsomely familiar face, Brad Womack. True Bachelor followers may remember the studly Texan from a few seasons back as the bachelor that couldn’t make a decision and let both women go at the show’s finale. Well, three years of therapy later Brad is back and better than ever. He’s worked through his trust and commitment issues, canceled his Match.com profile and is ready to plunge into the hot tub of love and give out some roses…for real this time!
Before Bachelor Brad meets his bevy of beauties, Chris Harrison sits down with him to get the scoop on his changed ways. Brad 2.0 tells us that his barriers have been broken down and he’s completely ready to commit. He tells Chris that he’s excited to be back and really feels that he’ll find his future wife this time around. Bachelor Jake and Bachelorette Ali must have worn Chris Harrison out, because the only advice he could muster for Brad was, “Don’t screw this up.” Just as Bachelor Brad is getting ready to meet his prospects, Chris Harrison pulls a fast one on him and brings out Deanna and Jenny, the two bachelorettes he jilted round one. Shocked, stunned, and probably a little scared, Bachelor Brad graciously greets the girls and offers a sincere apology and tells them because of what happened that season, he’s been able to get help and become a better person, and ultimately a better bachelor. And becoming a better bachelor is really what life is all about. Both Deanna and Jenny seem skeptical that he’ll be able to make a decision at the end and propose, but nonetheless wish him well and then flaunt their engagement rings as they make their exits. Psst, Brad, between you and me, I think you dodged some real bullets with those two…
But Brad’s chat with Chris Harrison won’t be the only time he’ll relive his Bachelor past this episode. In group of 30 single women chances are most of them have seen Brad’s infamous season and even better are the chances of 30 single women having stern opinions on how the season ended. As it turns only three of them had no idea who he was. The other 27? Here’s a smattering of their reactions upon meeting our bachelor:
On behalf women everywhere, Shawntel from Seattle slaps Brad across the face. Kimberly from North Carolina tells him she has real concerns about his commitment to being on the show. Red headed Lindsey wondered if he’s really changed. Jackie from New York made him pinky swear that he wouldn’t break her heart and Jill from Texas simply said, “I’m ready to get married.” I hope Brad was able to take a swig of some hard, hard liquor before going into that first cocktail party.
But the questions about his previous bachelor experience didn’t let up. Everywhere he turned there was a broad in a satin gown chirping at him about proposing, committing, and falling in love. After that display, I don’t know how ABC will be able to cast another bachelor ever again. But then Brad met Ashley from New York. During their alone time, Ashley didn’t grill him on his past decisions and the two just had normal, first date conversation. Not surprisingly, it was also Ashley that nabbed the First Impression Rose. But Ashley had some competition for that coveted first rose. Once the girls know about the First Impression Rose, all reason and self-respect go out the mansion window. Keltie (yes, you read that correctly) is a former Rockette and taught Brad a few high-kicks. Raichel the Manscaper waxed a portion of Brad’s wrist. He met Madison the piece with fangs and though finding them oddly hot, he told her if she’s here to play around then she should leave. And then Jackie, claiming that she had nothing prepared, belted out a song she wrote about being on the show. Once again, how does ABC do it? Finding a guy brave enough to do this season after season after season…
The First Impression Rose must have whetted Brad’s appetite to give out more roses because after what seemed like the shortest cocktail party in Bachelor history, it was rose ceremony time. Among the 20 that we’ll see next week are single moms Michelle and Emily, both Shawntel and Chantel, Fangs, and Manscaper Raichel. And my early pick to be the frontrunner, Marissa the sports publicist from Florida. Among those taking the reject limo back to LAX, Lisa P. who was really ready to find her husband, Lauren who thinks Brad is missing out on woman with a great personality, and Brittnee who thought it would really work out this time.
Well, Brad you made it through yet another first episode of “The Bachelor” and if the previews hold true with the black eye scene, teary confrontations, and the alluding sound bites that Brad may end up alone, again, at the end, this may actually be the “most socking season yet.”
Before Bachelor Brad meets his bevy of beauties, Chris Harrison sits down with him to get the scoop on his changed ways. Brad 2.0 tells us that his barriers have been broken down and he’s completely ready to commit. He tells Chris that he’s excited to be back and really feels that he’ll find his future wife this time around. Bachelor Jake and Bachelorette Ali must have worn Chris Harrison out, because the only advice he could muster for Brad was, “Don’t screw this up.” Just as Bachelor Brad is getting ready to meet his prospects, Chris Harrison pulls a fast one on him and brings out Deanna and Jenny, the two bachelorettes he jilted round one. Shocked, stunned, and probably a little scared, Bachelor Brad graciously greets the girls and offers a sincere apology and tells them because of what happened that season, he’s been able to get help and become a better person, and ultimately a better bachelor. And becoming a better bachelor is really what life is all about. Both Deanna and Jenny seem skeptical that he’ll be able to make a decision at the end and propose, but nonetheless wish him well and then flaunt their engagement rings as they make their exits. Psst, Brad, between you and me, I think you dodged some real bullets with those two…
But Brad’s chat with Chris Harrison won’t be the only time he’ll relive his Bachelor past this episode. In group of 30 single women chances are most of them have seen Brad’s infamous season and even better are the chances of 30 single women having stern opinions on how the season ended. As it turns only three of them had no idea who he was. The other 27? Here’s a smattering of their reactions upon meeting our bachelor:
On behalf women everywhere, Shawntel from Seattle slaps Brad across the face. Kimberly from North Carolina tells him she has real concerns about his commitment to being on the show. Red headed Lindsey wondered if he’s really changed. Jackie from New York made him pinky swear that he wouldn’t break her heart and Jill from Texas simply said, “I’m ready to get married.” I hope Brad was able to take a swig of some hard, hard liquor before going into that first cocktail party.
But the questions about his previous bachelor experience didn’t let up. Everywhere he turned there was a broad in a satin gown chirping at him about proposing, committing, and falling in love. After that display, I don’t know how ABC will be able to cast another bachelor ever again. But then Brad met Ashley from New York. During their alone time, Ashley didn’t grill him on his past decisions and the two just had normal, first date conversation. Not surprisingly, it was also Ashley that nabbed the First Impression Rose. But Ashley had some competition for that coveted first rose. Once the girls know about the First Impression Rose, all reason and self-respect go out the mansion window. Keltie (yes, you read that correctly) is a former Rockette and taught Brad a few high-kicks. Raichel the Manscaper waxed a portion of Brad’s wrist. He met Madison the piece with fangs and though finding them oddly hot, he told her if she’s here to play around then she should leave. And then Jackie, claiming that she had nothing prepared, belted out a song she wrote about being on the show. Once again, how does ABC do it? Finding a guy brave enough to do this season after season after season…
The First Impression Rose must have whetted Brad’s appetite to give out more roses because after what seemed like the shortest cocktail party in Bachelor history, it was rose ceremony time. Among the 20 that we’ll see next week are single moms Michelle and Emily, both Shawntel and Chantel, Fangs, and Manscaper Raichel. And my early pick to be the frontrunner, Marissa the sports publicist from Florida. Among those taking the reject limo back to LAX, Lisa P. who was really ready to find her husband, Lauren who thinks Brad is missing out on woman with a great personality, and Brittnee who thought it would really work out this time.
Well, Brad you made it through yet another first episode of “The Bachelor” and if the previews hold true with the black eye scene, teary confrontations, and the alluding sound bites that Brad may end up alone, again, at the end, this may actually be the “most socking season yet.”
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