Welcome Bachelor fans to what Chris Harrison is already calling “the most shocking season in Bachelor history.” And with a mortician, a girl with fangs, and a few single moms thrown in the mix, it may actually earn the moniker. This season brings us a handsomely familiar face, Brad Womack. True Bachelor followers may remember the studly Texan from a few seasons back as the bachelor that couldn’t make a decision and let both women go at the show’s finale. Well, three years of therapy later Brad is back and better than ever. He’s worked through his trust and commitment issues, canceled his Match.com profile and is ready to plunge into the hot tub of love and give out some roses…for real this time!
Before Bachelor Brad meets his bevy of beauties, Chris Harrison sits down with him to get the scoop on his changed ways. Brad 2.0 tells us that his barriers have been broken down and he’s completely ready to commit. He tells Chris that he’s excited to be back and really feels that he’ll find his future wife this time around. Bachelor Jake and Bachelorette Ali must have worn Chris Harrison out, because the only advice he could muster for Brad was, “Don’t screw this up.” Just as Bachelor Brad is getting ready to meet his prospects, Chris Harrison pulls a fast one on him and brings out Deanna and Jenny, the two bachelorettes he jilted round one. Shocked, stunned, and probably a little scared, Bachelor Brad graciously greets the girls and offers a sincere apology and tells them because of what happened that season, he’s been able to get help and become a better person, and ultimately a better bachelor. And becoming a better bachelor is really what life is all about. Both Deanna and Jenny seem skeptical that he’ll be able to make a decision at the end and propose, but nonetheless wish him well and then flaunt their engagement rings as they make their exits. Psst, Brad, between you and me, I think you dodged some real bullets with those two…
But Brad’s chat with Chris Harrison won’t be the only time he’ll relive his Bachelor past this episode. In group of 30 single women chances are most of them have seen Brad’s infamous season and even better are the chances of 30 single women having stern opinions on how the season ended. As it turns only three of them had no idea who he was. The other 27? Here’s a smattering of their reactions upon meeting our bachelor:
On behalf women everywhere, Shawntel from Seattle slaps Brad across the face. Kimberly from North Carolina tells him she has real concerns about his commitment to being on the show. Red headed Lindsey wondered if he’s really changed. Jackie from New York made him pinky swear that he wouldn’t break her heart and Jill from Texas simply said, “I’m ready to get married.” I hope Brad was able to take a swig of some hard, hard liquor before going into that first cocktail party.
But the questions about his previous bachelor experience didn’t let up. Everywhere he turned there was a broad in a satin gown chirping at him about proposing, committing, and falling in love. After that display, I don’t know how ABC will be able to cast another bachelor ever again. But then Brad met Ashley from New York. During their alone time, Ashley didn’t grill him on his past decisions and the two just had normal, first date conversation. Not surprisingly, it was also Ashley that nabbed the First Impression Rose. But Ashley had some competition for that coveted first rose. Once the girls know about the First Impression Rose, all reason and self-respect go out the mansion window. Keltie (yes, you read that correctly) is a former Rockette and taught Brad a few high-kicks. Raichel the Manscaper waxed a portion of Brad’s wrist. He met Madison the piece with fangs and though finding them oddly hot, he told her if she’s here to play around then she should leave. And then Jackie, claiming that she had nothing prepared, belted out a song she wrote about being on the show. Once again, how does ABC do it? Finding a guy brave enough to do this season after season after season…
The First Impression Rose must have whetted Brad’s appetite to give out more roses because after what seemed like the shortest cocktail party in Bachelor history, it was rose ceremony time. Among the 20 that we’ll see next week are single moms Michelle and Emily, both Shawntel and Chantel, Fangs, and Manscaper Raichel. And my early pick to be the frontrunner, Marissa the sports publicist from Florida. Among those taking the reject limo back to LAX, Lisa P. who was really ready to find her husband, Lauren who thinks Brad is missing out on woman with a great personality, and Brittnee who thought it would really work out this time.
Well, Brad you made it through yet another first episode of “The Bachelor” and if the previews hold true with the black eye scene, teary confrontations, and the alluding sound bites that Brad may end up alone, again, at the end, this may actually be the “most socking season yet.”
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