Week two was a night of firsts for our second time around bachelor. Brad had his first one-on-one date, first group date, and Michelle celebrated her first 30th birthday. Something tells me she's one of those that plans on turning 30 for the next five years...
Last night's episode started out in the mansion where all the girls were sitting around in their Victoria's Secret sweat pants and side ponies awaiting the arrival of the season's first date card. Melissa, the waitress from Florida, tells us she's wanted to be a contestant on "The Bachelor" for eight years and, despite having to quit her job, spent a fortune on dresses and gowns for the show. So you can imagine her disappointment when the date card is opened and it's Ashley H.'s name printed on the front.
Later that evening Ashley H., the perky little dentist from Philadelphia, meets Bachelor Brad at the bottom of the mansion staircase wearing a dress reminiscent of the lacy swan Bjork wrapped herself in for the 2001 Oscars. Brad must have had on his bachelor goggles as he tells the oral hygiene hottie how beautiful she looks. After bidding adieu to her fellow bachelorettes, Brad drives Ashley down a dark and windy wooded trail. Just when she thinks this is about to turn into an episode of "48 Hours Mystery," they stumble upon a giant voltage switch. Brad lets Ashley do the honors and when the switch is flipped, a carnival lights up complete with a tilt-a-whirl and ferris wheel. Running around like 15 year olds that have just been ungrounded, the two play ring toss, eat cotton candy, and make-out in the photo booth. Brad tells us, "I've met a girl right off the bat that I can just be myself with." They bond over the fact that both of them grew up with absentee fathers and feel the need for stability in their lives. Brad says to Ashley that she makes it easy for him to open up and talk, thus he presents her with the season's first date rose. Ashley readily accepts and then the two take their make-out session to the ferris wheel. Which reminds me, "Fear" was just added to Netflix Instant Play.
The next day is a big one at the mansion - it's Michelle's birthday! But it's not just Michelle's birthday, it's her 30th birthday. Not her 29th or 31st, as she tells us, but her 30th! And on the big 3-0 the producers of ABC's "The Bachelor" surprise her with a date with Brad and 15 other girls! Turning 30 is the best! After hearing her name on the group date's roster, Michelle tells us, "People are going to piss me off today. I just know it." I love it when birthday girls are on "The Bachelor."
For the season's first group date, Brad takes the girls to a studio where they'll shoot PSAs promoting blood donation for the American Red Cross. OMG - this is obviously the perfect group date for Madison! Madison, as you recall, is the girl with fangs. But what would've been Fangs' big moment is overshadowed by birthday girl Michelle. After watching Brad willingly participate in kissing scenes with several of the girls, Michelle has had enough and tell us, "this isn't how I pictured celebrating my 30th birthday," and runs off in a huff. Bachelor Brad finds her pouting backstage and after a strained pep talk, gets her to rejoin the date.
After the PSA shoot, Brad takes the ladies to a rooftop wrap party at the swanky Roosevelt Hotel. After toasting to a drama-free evening, Brad whisks Melissa away for some alone time. Melissa, as you recall, is the one who told us earlier this episode that its basically been her dream to be on "The Bachelor" and sold all her possessions to make it come true. So, we knew she wasn't going to come off as desperate when she finally had alone time with our bachelor. The first thing Melissa tells Brad is how spontaneous she is. In bachelorettese, "spontaneous" actually means "Short of a three-way, I'll do anything to get your attention." In past seasons "spontaneous" has meant skinny-dipping, running into the ocean fully clothed, and secret late night visits to the bachelor's sleeping quarters. We all know this isn't Brad's first rodeo, so he's on to Michelle's spontaneous talk and cuts their alone time short.
Next up for alone time is the birthday girl, who by now is hammered. Slurry-tongued and glossy-eyed, Michelle tells Brad that he has walls up and she wants to "peel off all the layers." Michelle, you're drunk, you're 30, you're on "The Bachelor." The only thing you want to peel off are Brad's clothes...amiright! And probably because Michelle was drunk and 30, she was offered the evening's date rose.
Back at Girl Scout camp, the final date card of the episode is delivered for Jackie, the artist from New York. Brad picks his date up in a shiny silver convertible and takes her to a hotel for a couple's spa treatment. After an afternoon of facial masks and mud baths, Brad surprises Jackie with a romantic dinner on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. During dinner we learn that Jackie has only had two serious boyfriends which worries the bachelor that this situation may be too risky for her. Jackie assures Brad that she wants to be here as long as he does, and with that she's offered the date rose. After accepting, the couple is rewarded with a private concert from Train. Hey soul sister!
Two one-on-ones and a group date later it's finally rose ceremony time! Before Brad hands out his roses, Chris Harrison surprises everyone with two special members of "The Bachelor" family; Ali and Sexy Roberto! As a former bachelorette, Ali is highly qualified to help Brad weed out some of the girls that may be there for the ever-popular wrong reason. Ali and Roberto sit down with each and of the girls for a quick interview and unanimously decide that Emily from North Carolina should be awarded the extra rose of the evening.
So, among those returning next week are our date rose recipients Ashley H., Birthday Girl Melissa, Jackie, and Emily. Also making the cut are once again both Shawntel and Chantal, Fangs, and my pick, Marissa! Tune in next week to see Brad's reaction to Emily's dark past and see who decides to head home before the rose ceremony.
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