Week 3 - "I hate group dates."

Week three opens with a friendly greeting courtsey of Michelle that went a little something like this: "Brad needs to be with a woman like me. Not these other girls. I'm not gonna lie; I hate them." I hope you other girls keep a close eye on who's pouring the wine spritzers if you catch my drift. Michelle definitely has a "I'd poison your drink with antifreeze" look about her. And Michelle's hatred is further fueled when the next one-on-one date card arrives and it's addressed to Ashley S.

Brad takes Ashley S. to Capitol Records to record a duet of none other than Seal's "Kiss From a Rose." A native North Carolinian, Ashley tells us, "My accent might be kind of charming, but my singing voice is terrible." Well Ashley, you may be from Dixie and you're a chick, but you certainly are no Dixie Chick. No one will ever accuse her of being on "The Bachelor" in hopes of furthering her singing career. After a wretched recording that makes "Real Housewife" Kim Zolciak sound on pitch, Brad and Ashley decide they're better off lip-syncing and are treated to a private performance by Seal. Afterwards the pair retreat to the Capitol Records rooftop for some champagne and chit-chat. Ashley opens up to Brad about her the untimely death of her father who died suddenly of a brain hemorrhage. She also tells Brad that this date was especially meaningful because "Kiss From a Rose" was her father's favorite song. Appreciative that Ashley is opening up to him, Brad tells her what a perfect first date they had and the two go from a "Kiss From a Rose" to a rose for a kiss. And Ashley, who already feels herself falling for Brad, accepts the date rose...and the kiss!

Back at the mansion Michelle isn't taking it well that she's about to be subjected to yet another group date and tells us, "What really hurts is being on a group date. I hate group dates." Michelle, it's "The Bachelor," no group date is ever that bad and they almost always end with the Bachelor half naked in a hottub. I've yet to see a group date that's involved a Cici's Pizza Buffet followed by a root canal. And until that's the case, quit yo bitchin'!

The dreaded group date, as it turns out, is a trip to a movie set to shoot an action flick. A group of professional stunt doubles work with the girls on how to throw fake punches and choreograph fight scenes. Though he thought all the girls were kicking butt this date, Brad seemed to have his eye on Shawntel and she was chosen to be in the movie's closing scene which of course invloved a car explosion and lots of kissing. Jealous, Michelle tells us that she wishes Shawntel would be kidnapped and dumped in the desert. Nevada PD, if you're reading this, maybe you should do a missing person's report and let out the cadaver dogs. Stat.

After the shoot, Brad takes his harem poolside for a wrap party where he wastes no time popping open the bubbly and the girls waste no time breaking out the bikinis. Chantal is the first to get some alone time with Brad and how does she spend it? Crying and talking about her divorce. If there are two things that are bachelor buzzkill it's crying and the word "divorce." Because he does seem to be a nice guy, Brad cuddles and comforts Chantal, but when she says, "I Iike you," he replies, "You too." Yes, the 'ol "You too." Unless you're casually telling someone to have a nice day, "You too" is never a promising response.

Next up for some hottub time is Alli. But, just as she and Brad were starting to talk about failed past relationships, in saunters Michelle who successfully steals Brad away. Though aware of Michelle's theivery ways, Brad tells us that "she could steal him away any night of the week." Shoot! She may be more of a frontrunner than I've been suspecting. But, he gives Shawntel the date rose and acts genuinely nervous while doing so. The date ends with everyone in the hottub watching their action movie appropiately titled "Love Hurts."

Emily from North Carolina is next on deck for a one-on-one date. Brad picks Emily up in his silver convertible and takes her to an airplane hangar where they board a private plane and fly to a vineyard in Santa Maria, CA. Over glasses of chardonnay, Brad tries to get Emily to open up, but she seems hesistant and resistant. Deflecting all his questions, Brad doesn't quite know how to read her. After a vineyard tour, he leads her into a barn for a romantic candlelit dinner. And over more glasses of chardonnay, Emily shares with Brad the "darkest period of her life," the death of her fiance. Emily was just 18 when her finance died in a plane crash en route to a car race. Days after his death, she found out she was pregnant with his daugher. Though a bit stunned by the seriousness of her story, Brad seems genuinely sorry for Emily's lost and even more interested in hearing about her five year old daughter. He tells Emily, "I like you a lot. I mean a lot." And then offers her the date rose.

The next night is rose ceremony and Brad seems to be having his best time yet at a cocktail party. He first meets with Alli where he hears about her trust issues that stem from her father's indefilty. He eases her mind by saying that he's never cheated on a girlfriend and agrees that trust is a huge factor in relationships and they kiss. He's then stolen away by Michelle who tells him how jealous she is that he's kissing other girls, so to ease her mind, he kisses her. Next he's off to find Chantal to apologize for not opening to her the other night in the hottub the way she opened up with him. And they kiss. Three kisses and it wasn't even fantasy date week - I'd say this was his best cocktail party yet!

But the tides begin to turn when he sits down to chat with Madison. We knew things were going to get serious when she took out her fangs. Madison tells Brad that she came on the show with walls up and feels like a lot of the girls really have their hearts on the line and she's thinking about leaving. A little put off, Brad encourages her not to accept a rose if she really doesn't want to be here. Well, as it turns, Madison didn't. Before Brad gave out his second rose of the ceremony, Madison walks off. Brad excuses himself and tries to figure out what's going on in that vampire head of hers. She tells him, "I wouldn't feel right if I stayed and another girl went home." Admiring her reason, Brad wishes her luck and the two part on amicable terms. Madison was more of a Team Edward kind of girl anyway.

So, Michelle, Chantal, Shawntel, Lisa, Jackie, Ashley H, Ashley S, Britt, Alli, Lindsey, Megan, Stacy and my pick Marissa all return next week. And speaking of next week - Michelle wakes up with a black eye! Monday, you can't get here fast enough!