Week 1

Wow. Season 14 of "The Bachelor." How time has flown since we were first introduced to the only show in television history to co-star a hot tub. Well, Bachelor Season is here again and how I've missed the tears, the drama, and that sparkling silver platter of roses that have come to define my Monday nights.

This season ABC reached into the Tupperware container of "Bachelorette" leftovers and heated up Jake Pavelka, a commercial airline pilot from Texas. Labeled as "The Nice Guy" on last season's "Bachelorette," Jake is out to prove that nice guys become the bachelor who gets to choose his future wife from a hot tub of boobs on national television.

Since Bachelor Jake is a pilot, ABC creatively named this season “On the Wings of Love” which of course opened the door for all sorts of sexual innuendos. Here is a smattering of my favorites thus far.

“I would love to be a passenger in your plane.” – Michelle from California after pretending to fly around like an airplane but before she spent the rest of the evening in tears

“We make the perfect pair of aviators.” – Shelia from California as she hands Bachelor
Jake a pair aviator sunglasses

“Your stewardess has arrived!” - Ashley from Pennsylvania prancing around in a stewardess costume. (Don’t forget she’s just two classes away from earning her Ph.D. and then she’ll be a professor!)

And my personal favorite:

“You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime.” – Said her native Cambodian tongue, Naughty Channy also from California

You California girls and your witty senses of humor! All the hometown girl from Lafollette, TN could think up was the ‘ol stain on your tie trick. Its ok Country Ella, he loved your accent…

After Bachelor Jake met his bevy of beauties he retired to the mansion for the cocktail party or as I like to call it, the talent competition. This is where the bachelorettes vie for The Bachelor’s attention and anything to catch his eye is fair game. Past seasons have included gymnastic routines, spontaneous opera performances, magic tricks, joke telling and a very memorable rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner.” This season, however was a let down. I was hoping for at least a kazoo performance but all I got was Elizabeth from Nebraska throwing the pigskin and organizing a game of touch football. And then Stephanie from Illinois taught Bachelor Jake to two-step which really doesn’t make since for someone from Chicago. How I miss the bygone seasons of drunk yodeling and impromptu cheerleading. And Bachelor Jake, you kind of do throw like a girl.

Mid-way through the cocktail party two top-secret guests arrive at the mansion – Bachelorette Jillian and Ed, OMG! Part of me seriously worried that Bachelor Jake was going to still try and give Jillian a rose, but alas she was just there for moral support and to dance with some of the contestants. Meanwhile, Ed polled the girls on whether or not they liked men in short shorts and further pushed back his and Jillian’s wedding date.

The coveted first impression rose went to Tenley Like the Number 10 from Oregon. I think she’s a frontrunner and I’m usually right on when it comes to picking winners on “The Bachelor.” If there were only a spread for such a thing in Vegas…

Bachelor Jake had to let 10 ladies go on this inaugural episode and like every episode in 14 seasons of Bachelor history there were some teary goodbyes. Though none could compete with the “He can’t let me go. My eggs are rotting…” comment from a few seasons back, I did love Emily from Ohio’s dramatic shunning of the camera as she turned her head and cried into her side pony.

And so season 14 of “The Bachelor” has lift-off. Godspeed, Bachelor Jake and I hope you make that connecting flight on the wings of love.