"I don't care about the rules!"

This week’s episode found our band of bachelors in the Caribbean island of Angullia. Known for its pristine white sandy beaches, glistening turquoise waters, and offshore banking, Angullia can now boast being home to the most miserable group date in Bachelor history. In fact I think Chief Minister Osbourne Fleming is having a rose statue erected in its honor.

When the ladies arrive to the island they are immediately greeted by a rather tan Chris Harrison who breaks the news that there will be three one-on-one dates and one group date this week. And that Brad will only be giving one rose before the week’s rose ceremony. And the first one-on-one date goes to Emily.

Continuing the trend, Brad picks Emily up in a helicopter where they fly to a private island for a picnic lunch. As the two sit basking in sunny paradise, the conversation takes a serious turn when Emily admits that she’s afraid of getting of her heartbroken. Brad tries to calm her fears by telling her how nervous she makes him and brings up the fact that the next round of dates will be hometown dates. Apprehensive about bringing up her daughter, Brad asks if he would be allowed to meet Ricki if he went home with her to Charlotte. Emily tells Brad that she’s an overprotected mother and Ricki has never met a guy she’s dated. But she realizes that Brad probably won’t propose if he can’t meet the most important person in her life. That being said, these two were in for some light-hearted dinner conversation…

Later that night, Emily and Brad meet for dinner on the beach. After toasting to a great day on their private island, he tells Emily that she’s getting a rose at the next ceremony and they are going home to Charlotte. Such the rule breaker, Brad Womack! They share a gag-inducing kiss in the ocean and then Brad tells us, “I don’t care about the rules. I care about Emily. I fell really hard tonight.” And so its official, Emily from Charlotte is the frontrunner.

Shawntel was awarded the second one-on-one in Agullia. And if I were among the last ladies standing, her date would have been my favorite of the three. This time Brad meets up with his date on a bicycle and they ride to the local farmer’s market. While roaming around they sip drinks out of coconuts, jump rope with little Anguillan children, and play dominoes on the street corner. My favorite part of the date was their chat with Auntie Bea. I’m not sure if she’s an out of work fortune teller or just the town drunk, but whoever she is, she needs to write a book on relationships because she seems to have it all figured out. Through her loving yet toothless mouth, Auntie Bea asks Brad and Shawntel if they are in love. When neither answers with much certainty, Anuties Bea tells them to, “Hold hands. Kiss sometime. And let your parents know when you get married.” Cosmopolitan magazine needs to give Auntie Bea a byline…

After the farmer’s market Brad meets Shawntel for dinner at the boat dock. While noshing on lobster tails and sipping colorful rum punch, Shawntel tells Brad, “I’m definitely falling in love with you, but there are five other girls here that feel the same way.” Brad tells her understands her frustrations with this unusual circumstance, but assures her that his connection with her is real and he’s interested in meeting her family. While the two talk about their parents, it starts to rain which makes the Bachelor feel all romantic. Have rain, will kiss. And as they’re kissing in the rain, Bankie Banks, the so-called “Angullian Bob Dylan” starts to serenade them.

Britt was the third and final one-on-one date of the week. And for this date Brad picks her up in a yacht. As Brad and Britt swim out to sea to board the boat, the girls back in the villa seem a little jealous that Britt will have Brad and all six of his abs alone on a yacht for the rest of the day. Michelle tells us, “You’re gonna use a yacht on Britt? Sounds like a waste of a one-on-one if you ask me.”

The yacht cruises the Caribbean and sets anchor near a rocky cliff where Bras suggests they going cliff diving. Brad takes the first jump and encourages Britt to be brave and just go for it. After moment of hesitation, Britt leaps off the cliff and plunges into the ocean all while holding her nose. After their cliff diving adventure, they sit on the beach for some small talk. But Brad seems disappointed that they’re two attractive people, wearing bathing suits, sitting in paradise and they’ve yet to kiss. Hoping to figure out if there’s a romantic connection, he meets Britt for a candlelit dinner on the yacht’s deck. Struggling for conversation, Brad tells her he isn’t sure that he has romantic feelings for her and doesn’t want to string her along through the next rose ceremony. She thanks him for giving it a shot and then boards the reject boat back to the villa to pack up her things and head home.

And now we’re to the most miserable group date in Bachelor history. The date is miserable from the start as Brad wakes Ashley, Michelle, and Chantal up before sunrise for their big date. He takes them to another villa down the beach where a team of make-up artists and photographers will glam them up for a spread in Sports Illustrated’s coveted swimsuit issue. Michelle, who has done some modeling in her time, is thrilled to be behind the camera again. Flat Ashley just hopes the camera will add 10lbs to her boob area, and Chantal must be on her period because she feels fat and cranky. All was going well during the photo shoot until Michelle invites Brad to join her for a pose, which turned out to be a make session on the beach. As soon as the shoot wrapped, Brad knew he took things too far with Michelle and he’d have lots of explaining to do with Ashley and Chantal.

He first pulls Ashley aside for alone time and assures her that he loves her bubbly personality and was sorry she ever had to second guess his feelings for her. Next he tells Chantal that he’s very interested in meeting her family and apologized for making her feel disconnected. And then tells Michelle that he’s scared that they’re too much alike and both a little too stubborn. After each girl has a crying spell, Brad tells us this is the worst group he’s ever been on and feels that he’s let some very special women down today. He decides to award Ashley the date rose which makes Chantal question if she’s even still in the running.

Later that night before the rose ceremony Brad asks to speak with Chris Harrison. Since he’s already broken one rule this week and promised Emily a rose, he asks to break another rule; skip the cocktail party and go straight for the roses. He tells Chris that his mind was made up earlier that afternoon and he doesn’t want to make this woman wait any longer. So, with Poppa Harrison’s blessing, Brad jumps right into the rose awarding. He first calls Emily, then Shawntel, then Chantal which left Michelle without a rose. I was immediately worried for Brad’s safety, but Michelle was oddly very calm and quiet as she made her exit. She refused to hold Brad’s hand during their walk to the reject limo and made no attempt at conversation or plea of explanation before leaving. She simply sighed goodbye and then laid down in the seat of the limo, expressionless. I was mildly disappointed that she didn’t go out with more fanfare or at least a string of bleeped out expletives as she drove off.

Next week is my favorite time of year – Hometown Date Week! From shotgun-toting dads and weird family pets, to creepy basements and kooky grandmas, the possibilities for hometown dates are endless.